She goes on to explain a little further and then ends with:Aspects of this story are compelling, particularly your writing, but the characters' conflicts are a bit muddled and episodic, and Nicco's intentions concerning Lisa become unclear..
The revisions suggested by the previous editor asked that I take out one of the external plot points, which was the big reason for Nicco's actions. I struggled in the rewrite with replacing that motivation. Looks like I didn't quite succeed. I also have a tendency to throw too much external plot into my books which I think leads to the episodic issue. When I can't think of "what next" I throw in a twist or surprise. And sometimes it really isn't the logical next step. Logical Next Steps are a term I learned from an online workshop with Susan MeierIf you have a project suitable for Silhouette Desire in the future, please free to query me again.
I sent the full in on Oct 13 so this response was much quicker than any other submission. But it's ironic that one of the reasons for the rejection was the hero's motivation and that's what I'm struggling with in my current story.
So for now, I'll concentrate on the new book, Executive Demands for the Desire Pitch. But I love Lisa and Nicco and plan to make him a little more alpha, the story a little darker and eventually send it to Presents.